On 60 Minutes last Sunday, Leslie Stahl had a segment about the "Oldest Old" or "90+" segment of our population...not our entire population, but members of Leisure World who had filled out large questionnaires in 1981. A researcher and her staff are coming up with some surprising results as they re-interview, study and perform additional research on the 1000+ individuals still alive. One of the facts, which I think most people know anyway, is that the people in this research group who remain active, socialize, stay current, take on new challenges, etc., are the ones who live longer and live well.


That segment has made me think about a lot of different things. One of them is socialization, rather difficult to do since the majority of my friends still work. When I worked, I saw these friends on a daily basis five days a week, and sometimes even on weekends. There was plenty of opportunity for us to catch up, talk about our lives, little annoyances, major successes, and just generally touch base on a regular basis. During that time, I had a friend who had already retired, who was alone most days and lonely for company and conversation. She would call me on a fairly regular basis; and if I was too busy to answer the phone, I let it go to voice mail. There were times I felt like she was a real nuisance. I've now come to realize that socialization can be a retirement curse.


All my working friends have lives beyond their jobs, so I cannot (and will not) call them at work on a regular basis to chat for a block of time. I do call or email and set up opportunities to have lunch, grab a glass of wine or do something that will allow us to connect and keep our friendship bonds strong. In turn, these same friends make an effort to fit me into their schedules, to reach out to me about things they are doing and would like me to do with them. I'm very fortunate that way. Still, it's hard to crowd everything we want to share into a lunch or dinner hour, so sometimes I don't feel as close to them as I once did when we shared every day.


Still, this is not socialization on an every day basis and can lead to the curse of loneliness...although it hasn't yet become a huge issue for me. I know there are additional options out there to increase my ability to socialize. There are all those senior groups, but I don't yet feel as though I'm old enough to be a senior. I haven't decided how old is old enough, but right now, I'm just not that old. There's also volunteer opportunities, but again, I don't feel like I'm ready to commit to a volunteer program or even know which one I'd like to take on.


I do go to the gym and heaven knows, during the day there are a lot of people my age and above who frequent the gym on a daily basis, sometimes for hours at a time. Again, I don't feel as old as they appear and the usual topic of conversation about aches, pains, medications, illness, etc., doesn't appeal to me. No matter how hard I try to keep the conversation away from those topics, it always ends up there. It was only during the times I had a personal trainer that going to the gym was fun and interesting.


Taking a class, as I am now, would, I hoped, provide opportunities for more socialization, but that hasn't led to any major changes with regard to being social. True, we meet once a week, are supposed to be looking at each other's blogs and providing feedback, but linking through the means of ones and zeros, sitting in front of a monitor just isn't the kind of socialization I was hoping for.


As this year continues, I plan to continue to reach out in various ways (not sure just what ways yet) to find a new niche in which I can fit with people who want to socialize by talking about current affairs, philosophy, pleasures of grandparenthood, travel and a myriad of other topics that do not in any way relate to our health. I know these people are out there...I just need to find them.


How about you fellow retiree or reader?  Are you finding ways to increase your socialization?  Want to share some of those ideas with me? I'd be glad to give any and all ideas a try.