You Choose!

Research has apparently shown that the brain is hardwired to remember negative interactions, but it’s possible for the higher regions of the brain to modify how the lower regions function. This means we can use our intention and attention in sustained and focused ways to overcome the brain’s negative prejudice. One can, in fact, make a conscious choice to be happy.

It was nice to hear about this research because it supports a decision I wish I had made at the beginning of my life as opposed to waiting until it was more than half over. In 2000, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It wasn’t supposed to be anything major because it was so tiny. Unfortunately, the results of tissue tests showed that more than one-third of the cells were replicating at any one time…very aggressive. So, instead of a bit of radiation, I got to have the entire breast cancer experience…eight rounds of chemotherapy, 33 days of directed radiation, and five years of Tamoxifen.

One thing I noticed during the nine months of treatment was the comment friends, family and co-workers made…”You have such a positive attitude.”  I didn’t feel as though I actually had a choice about my attitude. I had to be up, positive, cheerful, etc., because I believed I didn’t actually have another choice. A good attitude was an essential part of my treatment, plus I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me or to share any negativity with me. I did have the occasional pity party, but I kept them very small and very private.

What I learned during this time was that each morning when I got out of bed and looked in the mirror, I made a conscious choice to have a good day whether I was at work, had the day off or was being infused with the wonderful poisons that were eliminating any remaining aggressive cancer cells. Once I completed chemotherapy and radiation, my brain returned to the habits it cultivated for most of my life…negativity. This did not make me at all happy, and I decided to do something about it.

I made up a bunch of sticky notes that I posted around the house, in my car and at work. Each one said, YOU CHOOSE! No one else understood why those two words were so important to me, but when I woke up, I saw the post-it. When I brushed my teeth, I saw the post-it. When I drove the car, I saw the post-it. Before I turned my computer on at work, I saw the post-it. So, no matter what was going on at home, at work, or driving down the road, I was reminded that I was choosing how I felt about whatever was going on. The upper regions of my brain were imposing my intentions and attentions on my brain’s lower regions and I was a happier person for it.  

Then, I took it even a little further. I looked at all the people I knew and began to avoid those that were entire islands of negativity. These were the people whose brains were so hardwired toward negativity, there wasn’t even a tiny bit of room for something positive. I cut my news gathering to almost nothing. Just the headlines that zipped by at the bottom of the screen on the morning news were more than enough…I didn’t need an in-depth look at why some crazy person had performed some abominable and horrific act.

It’s been a long time since 2001 when I began my “You Choose” campaign for myself, and I like to think it has been more successful than not. True, there are days when I choose to ignore the upper regions of my brain and wallow in negativity; but it really isn’t any fun and doesn’t feel very good at all, so those wallows don’t last very long. Most days, I get up and consciously choose to have a good day, and if something negative comes my way I refuse to give it my attention. I choose to be happy!